Britney Spears Reviewed A Popular Hollywood Restaurant—And Now We Want To Go! 

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Here’s what Britney Spears thinks about an L.A. hotspot:

Britney Spears is celebrating the end of her newly-found freedom since her restrictive 13-year conservatorship ended in November 2021. America’s beloved pop queen has been making up for lost time (as she promised) by hitting the town, and she documented an evening out at an L.A. hotspot with an Instagram post. The post consists of a video of a smash cake reveal (which has led speculators to believe it’s Catch LA’s iconic ‘Hit Me’ dessert) and three pages of text walking audiences through each moment. Her gushing, multi-page review seems to transcend any standard dining experience and comes across as more of a spiritual experience.

A sweet sauce so good that it makes you cry, a glass ceiling to view the stars, music and free candy in the bathroom, a salad described with the words “HOLLLLLYYYY WOWZY !!!” and plates so good that it makes you question whether God is actually foodUm, we’ll have two of whatever she’s having.

While this might not be your finessed Jonathan Gold review, seamlessly interweaving cultural references into mouthwatering descriptions of plates, it holds its own moving punch. Starved of real-life for so long, we get a glimpse of the experiences we’re so used to having through her fresh eyes and palate. Suddenly, lettuce isn’t just a tasteless garnish we dutifully gnaw through, but a cold, crunchy ingredient that compliments the texture and strong flavor of cheese.

There is no mention of the Hit Me cake that gets cracked open in her text, but the way the white cream pours free from its chocolate casing and the cake’s reference to her Billboard hit song feels particularly symbolic.

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